Monthly Archives: April 2013

POPPA HOWARD REVEALS ALL ABOUT THE BODY FACTORY

Standard

POPPA HOWARD REVEALS ALL ABOUT THE
THE BODY FACTORY (What REALLY goes on inside!)

Ref: “Web THE BODY FACTORY.doc”

1: INTRODUCTION
Although written humorously, the following follows the amazing sequences and organization that actually goes on continuously in our bodies at a cellular and molecular level. It is so unbelievable but true, that it could surely have only been designed and put into operation by some super super super super ‘Intelligence’, not so?? No prizes for guessing what or who, , , , but ask any sincere Religious Person, and they will give you a good clue!!!

Some of the concepts may be entirely new to some of us, such as “Where does a Vitamin or Supplement pill know just where exactly to go where it is desperately needed? How can it possibly have a ‘Road Map?” (This question is again asked and answered in a summary at the end of this write-up).

Here now is the perfect answer in detail to this very puzzling little riddle! , , , , , , , , ,

2: THE MOUTH
So let’s start off at the single entrance door leading into the “Reception Area”. This is quite ingenious because this is the ONLY way that food can come into the body (apart, of course, from an Intra- Thingamabob- Drip). Having done so, the food receives treatment as outline below:-

In the Entrance Hall, all incoming items are inspected and dealt with by a Mr. TUTH who operates a preliminary chopping machine. Any unwelcome items are ejected by means of a powerful Air Compressor (operated by a Mr.SPITZ).

There is also a tiny extraction plant just inside the main entrance. This plant extracts all different kinds of Beneficial Nutrients that other parts of the Digestive System can’t handle. This is run by a Mr. BEN. E. FISHAL from TONGART. (EATING TIP: If you don’t chew foods properly, designed for this purpose, you may as well pour them straight down the Toilet, thus saving the rest of your body from a lot of unnecessary trouble!!)

3: THE THROAT
When totally satisfied, these gentlemen then hand everything over to a Mr. SWALLOW who operates a chute that sends all the chopped up ‘mush’ down to a large cavern run by a chap everyone calls TOMMY.

4: THE STOMACH
Tommy is in charge of several machines and devices, the main one being a Fine Grinding Machine operated by a Mr.MILLER who gets his grinding materials from small hard particles in the incoming ‘mush’ that comes down the chute.

The finished (now much finer) concoction is then put into a Tank of extremely strong Alkali Liquid, this having been manufactured in a different part of the factory run by a Mr.BILES.

5: THE BLOOD STREAM
A tubular canal carrying red liquid runs through all the departments and divisions of the body factory (and a bloody good canal it is too!). Tommy then loads different Beneficial Nutrients extracted by a number of Extraction Machines and Filters (also under his control) into little barges that are then carried away by the bloody strong current of the canal (please excuse the swearing !).

6: THE HEART
The liquid flowing in the canal is pumped around the body by a Pumping Station run by a Mr.HARTMAN from HART-BEESPOORT. As this is one of the major function in the body, it deservers special attention. Most people think Mr.Hartman has only one Pump-House, but in actual fact HE HAS TWO ENTIRELY SEPARATE ONES that are fused together but they both act in harmony with each other. Let’s look at each one in turn:-.

The LEFT-HAND Pump-House pumps blood from the Lungs where it has been considerably enriched with oxygen from inhaled air. It has bright red colouring because of this (medically named ‘Hemoglobin’). It then goes through the entire body by means of little tubes called VEINS.

During its peregrinations through the body, the blood obviously becomes impoverished of oxygen and is loaded with Carbon Dioxide that has been excreted by the individual cells. This gives it quite a bluish tinge. This is where the RIGHT HAND SIDE Pump-House comes into its own, as it now sucks this impoverished blood back from the body via large tubes called ARTERIES and then sucks it into the lungs where the nasty old Carbon Dioxide Gas is expelled. The Lungs then recharge the blood with a fresh supply of fresh Oxygen from the outside air. (and off we then go again for ‘Round 2’)

7: THE INTESTINES
After Tommy has done all he can in his division, what residue is left over is sent down a further chute into another part of the factory consisting of a mighty long corridor called THE INTESTINES. As it passes along this corridor, further nourishment is extracted by a completely different process involving hundreds of miniature little dogs called BACTERIA (nick-named ‘BARK TERRIERS’). This process is supervised by a Mr. GUTMAN.

8: THE BOWELS
After all the foregoing operations have been completed, there is nothing much of any value left in the residue and it goes down a further chute to a Storage Depot, called THE BOWELS, awaiting export (Run by a Mr. BOWLS). An unappetizing coloured die is now added to the residue so that the outside world will recognize it as something without any nourishment and hardly worth eating again. This colouring process is handled by a Mr. BROWN.

In a corner of Mr. Brown’s workshop there is a Large Tank where any ‘Liquid Run-Off’’ is stored. This is handled by a Mr. PEENAAR.

In the furthest corner of Mr. Brown’s division, well out of the way of everyone else, is where the obnoxious gases that come of the residue are collected, stored then expelled with considerable force to the outside world by means of a very powerful compressor. This is operated by a retired Anglican Priest by name of FARTER WINDLEY from POOF-ADDER. Sometimes he will get an urgent telephone message from Brian (see below under ”THE BRAIN”), , , “Cool it, we have company!”
The really clever part, however, is this: The various chaps described above also require nourishment or they would starve, so they are allowed to help themselves from the barges as they pass through their divisions (as the VEINS have thousands of branches that go to every single part of the body). They also help themselves to lubricants for their machines so that these do not seize up. (Ingeniously designed by something or someone , , , , Hey What?!).

There are, in fact, other divisions in the factory far too numerous to describe here. For instance there is a large machine that does a complicated operation run by a chap from LIVER-POOL, not forgetting a chap called SYDNEY (but he insists that the “S’ is pronounced as “K” , , , as his Father had loose dentures and whistled all his “S’s” which annoyed everybody intensely).

9: THE BRIAN
Incidentally, all these operators do not do their jobs haphazardly but they are all very carefully organized and controlled by the HEAD of the factory, who everyone fondly calls BRIAN.

10: THE NERVOUS SYSTEM
Brian sends all his instructions from HEAD Office via an Electrical Wiring and Telephone System that runs through every single part of the factory. This is maintained by a NERD called “VUS” (short for “Vuskowski “). Everybody therefore calls this Wiring / Telephone system “THE NERD- VUS” SYSTEM”.

11: THE CELLS
I have been saving the most important and the most intriguing item until last, namely the humble CELL. (Correction!!, , Certainly NOT ‘HUMBLE’ as without it, we not even exist!!).
All this next bit is not part of the joke, by the way, but is EXTREMELY serious and important.

a: Each cell is a microscopic spec (many thousand of them would fit on a needle point with tons of room to spare) and are made up of MOLECULES which are, in turn made up of ATOMS. (If you think that a Molecule is small, you should just see an ATOM. But you would need your glasses, as it would be like a Flea flying around in Westminster Abbey !!!).

b: One BASIC CELL is ‘Programmed ‘ (Like in a Computer) to turn itself into a Heart Tissue or Brain Tissue or Muscle, or Skin and so on, , , and even to form our bodies, OR EVEN AN ANIMAL !! This is done with our DNA. This is a 6 feet long thingamajig that is tightly coiled into each of the One Hundred Trillion cells that make up our bodies, and each one of them can manufacture 20,500 different kinds of Proteins (i.e. ’BODY BRICKS’). A Computer type of 4 Digit Code is used to ‘Program’ their actions comprised of the ‘letters’ A, G, ,C, T, namely ‘ADENINE’, ‘GUANINE, ‘CYTOSINE’ and ‘THYMINE. (compare this to a Computer’s 2- Digit Code or our 26- Digit Alphabet Code). To build just one Protein, you would need about 2,000 of these ‘Cellular Letters’. (If you think what modern miracles a Computer can do with only just 2 Code-Letters {On and Off}, just think what miracles a cell can do with twice as many ‘ Code-Letters’!!!).
(DANGER NOTICE: If anything ever went wrong with your DNA ‘Coding Program’, you could end up being programmed into an Elephant!!) (Same with a Computer, , , namely: ”Rubbish in, , , Rubbish out?!!).

c: A Basic Cell also contains a little Molecule used to SHUNT LIQUIDS AROUND OUR BODIES. It is like a little boat with a kind of propeller and motor that turns at 10,000 Revs Per Minute (RPM). (I am told that one of our fastest RPM machines today is the Honda Car Turbo engine that can get up to only about 8,000 RPM). But now just listen to this, , , IT CAN STOP AND GO INTO REVERSE IN JUST ONE QUARTER OF A REVOLUTION. With all our modern technology and expertize, we could never ever hope to match this in a month of Sundays !! (Now work that one out if you can !!!).

Incidentally, all the above technical information was taken from Lee Strobel’s book “THE CASE FOR A CREATOR” where he proves God scientifically, , , a MUST read.

12: CONCLUSION
All in all, Brian does an excellent job. As I said in my ‘INTRODUCTION’ , , sometimes it is asked in the outside world “When you take a pill, how does it know where to go and what to do?”

So now, in summary, you know, namely, a pill completely bypasses the two gentlemen in the Entrance Hall, then it goes down Mr. Swallow’s chute, gets dissolved and extracted by Tommy who then puts the goodies in one of the little barges on the bloody canal. When they pass the spot where they are desperately required, someone is sure to shout out ”AH!!, , , Here comes EXACTLY just what I need” and grabs ‘em!! ==== What could be more simple?!!

But to end on a serious note , , , I hope that this little article has, perhaps, stopped and made you think that it all must surely have been designed and put together by some super super super super ‘Intelligence’ and not just by some ‘Freakish Random Accidents’ !!!

(Extracted from my “The Gospel According to Poppa Howard”).

P.S. You have my full permission to Distribute, Edit or Extract anything from the above.

c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c c
END OF DOCUMENT