Monthly Archives: December 2012



 POPPA HOWARD REVEALS ALTERNATIVE DEFINITIONS TO WELL KNOWN WORDS AND PHRASES   By “Poppa Howard”, The Abbot, Trappist Monkey Monastery, Poffadder!!!     Saved as: “ WebSite-DAFFY DEFINITIONS.doc” Hereunder I reveal alternative meanings to well-known words and phrases, , , some being amusing, some hilarious, some even being very wise and a couple a little bit ‘Smutty’. , , , , , ,  But read on, , ,  and smile, or giggle, or roar with laughter, or scratch or nod  your head in wise agreement, or just  “Tut – Tut”  as the case maybe! Some you may have to read slowly and think about it, before you get the point. Some are absolutely terrific. Some are absolutely awful !! Some are as old as the hills!! Off we go then , , , , , , , , , , , ,



1:: ACCOUNTANT:  Someone who comes to a much higher figure after he has added up all your expenses

2: ADVICE: What we look for when we know the answer perfectly well but heartily wish that we didn’t !!

3: AFFLUENCE: That extremely short period between the last payment and the first repair-bill !!

4: AUTHORITY: Someone who informs you, in no uncertain terms, about something that you wish you didn’t know !!

5: BARGAIN: Something that you have just bought at twice the price, or you don’t need, and at a price you can’t resist or afford.

6: BATH-MATS: Little dry rugs that  youngsters won’t stand on !!

7: BUDGET: A very careful plan for going broke methodically !!

8: BULLDOZER: One who sleeps through a political speech.

9: DISCRETION:  The art of putting two and two together and keeping your mouth shut !  

10: DIPLOMACY: The art of jumping into troubled waters without making a splash

11: FINANCIAL GENIOUS:  A man who can earn money faster than his wife and family can spend it

12: GRANDPA:  A wild horse that has been tamed by his son in preparation for his grandson to ride !!

13: HOLY GATHERING: A boil on a Bishop’s neck !!

14: HONEY MOON That very brief period between  “I do” and  “You’d better” !!

15: IDIOT: Someone who does not know what you have only just learnt !!

16: JARGON: A disguise cleverly employed to describe something in a complex format without giving a single thing away !!

17:JOURNALIST: Someone with absolutely nothing in his or her head but having the ability to express it persuasively.

18: LATEST MODEL; Something that that you have just bought at a price you can’t afford  that immediately becomes out of fashion. Or:  A bargain that becomes immediately available at half-price just after you have bought the old model at great expense!!  

19: LIVING WAGE: A hugely differing amount, depending entirely upon whether you are paying it or receiving it !!

20: MIDDLE AGE: This is when knees buckle, and belts don’t !!

21: MICROWAVE: Just wiggling the fingers to attract attention.:

21: OLD AGE: Chronologically Gifted !!

22: OPTIMIST: Someone who REALLY believes that a House Fly is looking for a way out !!

23: CATASTROPHY: A combined name for , , ,  A Feline Animal , , , A Donkey , , , and , , , , , ,   A Cup given as a Prize.

24: SIGH: An Amplifier for people who suffer in silence !!

  25: NEUROTIC:       The One who builds castles in the air ,,,

PSYCOPATH:    The One who lives in them ,,,

PSYCHIATRIST: The One who collects the rent !!  

26: PETTY SQUABLER: One who would squabble over a deck-chair on the Titanic.

27: MONEY: Money is better than poverty, , , ,even if only for financial reasons !!  


28: FAIRY TALE:  Not every Fairy Tale begins with “Once upon a time ,,,”   Very many begin with:  “When I am elected,,,, “ !!!

29: PATIENCE: This is something you greatly admire in the driver behind you ,(“ThanksfornotSittingonmyBumper) but never in the one ahead of you (“Hurryup,DarnYou!!!!) Or:   The ability to still let your light shine ,,, AFTER YOUR FUSE HAS BLOWN !!

30: RAINSTORMS, , ,THEIR CAUSES, , , a): High Pressure Areas. b): Cold Fronts. c): Warm Moist Air. d): Weekends and Holidays !!

31: AN ADULTRESS:  A Lady Adult

32: IMAGE:  He is very aged

33: OLD AGE: Someone who is 20 years older than you are!

34: RACIST: A person who Runs.

35: ATHEISM: A Non-Prophet Organization.

36: GERIATRIC  A German Footballer scoring three goals in a row.

37: BRAIN: An apparatus with which we think we think.  

38: INDECENT: When a cork is hard enough and far enough into a bottle.

39: FAIR ENOUGH: I am a Fairy, and my name is ‘’Nuff’’  , , , ‘Fairy  Nuff’’

40: CAPITAL PUNISHMENT:  Being forced to live in London for 5 years.

41: POSTULATE: Someone Posts something to you too Late to be of any use.  

42: MONOPOLLY: A girl all on her own called ‘Polly

43: HONOUR  AMONGST THIEVES:  Why would anyone want to insert  “Honour” between  ‘THI” and “EVES.? , , , , ,as you will end up with “THI honour EVES!!!  

44: TRANSPARENT: A Father taking a bus from one town to another..

45: GAGGA:  Genetically Mentally Impaired (Latin:Impejorarer)  

46: ONE MINUTE:  Usually 60 seconds, unless preceded by the words JUSTA

47: IN A JIFFY: Anything from 8 seconds to several weeks. The latter is usually preceded by the words: “ILL HAVE IT FIXED,,,

48: BANSHEE: A notice forbidding the entry of females.

49: SURPLUS: Cast- off white robes that the Vicar dresses in.  

50: PATHOLOGIST: One who makes or maintains paths.

51: BRANCH MANAGER:  A Gardener who trims Trees and Hedges

52: FAITH:  Faith is trying to believe in something you can’t believe in.  

52: NIL ILLIGITIMUS  CARBORUNDUM:  Don’t let the bastards wear .you down.  

53: PANIC:  In a Nunnery when Mother Superior finds a toilet seat up !!

54: PROPHET: Money made on a transaction. Usually expressed as a percentage.

55: MYTH: A Female Moth, , , or a Young Girl with a lisp.  .

56: MISFIRE: An unmarried female full of vigor.

57: MISCONCEPTION: A person whose Mother missed giving birth to her child.

58: MIRAGE: When a man and a woman are joined together in Holy Acrimony.

59: EJECTION: This is a button on a seat that should NEVER be pressed if you are ever invited into the cock-pit of a Boeing 707 during a Trans-Atlantic flight.

60: AFFLUENT: Someone who has just flown in an aeroplane, or has just recovered  from the Flu’

61. DEPEND: The opposite end to the shallow end.

62: PRIVATE  PARTS: The screws or rivets needed to affix a “PRIVATE’ label to an office door.  

 63: PHYSIOTHERAPIST:  The man who puts the Fizz into Coke.

64: RATIFY: To get rid of Mice in Building .

65: PRODUCT: A Professional’s Passageway.

66: OVERCAST:  Too many players in the act!!   Or:-  You Cast your Fishing Line too far beyond where all the fish are!!

67: PRECONCEIVED IDEA:  An idea conceived before it was even thought of

68: HERMETICALLY SEALED: Sealed up by a Hermit.

69: MARMITE:  But Father wouldn’t !!!

70: DYNAMITE:  Dina might but Harry wouldn’t !!!

71: DISCONCERTING:  A disruption during a Concert..

72: LICENSE: Telling a lie sensibly so that it sounds very convincing.

73: TRIGONOMETRY: The study of pulling the trigger faster than your opponent. is able to do when dueling with pistols.  

74PALMISTRY: The History of Palm Trees.

75: DEMONSTRATE: A reformed Demon now going Straight.

76: MANIFOLD: A Wrestling Hold whereby my opponent is folded in half.  

77: LACKADAISICAL: A lawn stripped of its Daisies.

78:CONTENT:  What Connie sleeps in when she goes camping.

79: SAVIOUR:  A very thrifty person                    

80: DELIVER  The act of removing someone’s  Liver..

81: VESTED INTERESTS:  Being very interested in different kinds of men’s underwear.

82: INVESTITURE CHEST:  Wear a Vest and Itch your Chest

83: IN ABSTENTIA: An employee who works in an ABSA Bank.

84: LESBIAN: An inhabitant of Lesotho.

85: EMPORIUM: A place where hard- up Emperors live when they are too poor to live in their castles.

86: COALITION  GOVERNMENT:  The GoverningBody of CoalMine.

87:AFFIRMATIVE  ACTION:  Nodding one’s head in agreement

88: ANTIQUE:  A person who is dead against being in a queue.

89: UNIQUE: A lot of people made to form only one single queue.

90: PROPENSITY: preference for using a Pen rather than a pencil when in the City.

91: ALTERNATIVE: Convert a Cannibal.

92: ALTERATION: A change of one’s Ration

93: MANDATE: Going out on a Datewith a Man. And:, , ,  Not  Female, but the Male version of a fruit called a Date…

94: NOBILITY: The art of being able to turn a Knob with greasy fingers or wearing woolly gloves.

95: SQUANDER: Wander around the Town Square.

96 MATRICULTE:  Having successfully done a Trick on a Mat when you are Late.

97: SOUND ADVICE: Training in Singing and Speaking properly.

98: MAMMOTH:  A Moths Mother.

99: TRUSTING: When you find out that something is actually ‘True, there is very often a ‘Sting to it !!.

100: MANAGE: The Age of a Male Human Being.

101: DIAGNOSIS: Measuring the ‘Diameter’ of a circle by using the ‘Nose’ of  your ‘Sister’  to sniff out the length of the path from side to side (Note:The path must go through the Centre).

102: CONNOISSEUR: Connie lives in a Sewer.

103: REPRESENTATIVE: A Rep who resents things all the time.

104: DEFENCE: To remove a Fence.

105: DEMOTE: To remove  Dust Motes in Carpets.

106: DEVOTION: Cancel your Vote, after you have already voted.

107: DECANTER: Fall off a Horse when it changes from a trot into a Canter.

107: DECIDER: Spitting out a mouthful of Cider.

109: DECOCTION: A rude slang word for ‘Castration”.

110: DISCOVER: The paper or plastic Cover that houses a Compact Disc or a D.V.D.

111: TRANSCRIPT: A Letter written on a means of transport.

112: TRANSDUCER: A Two-Timer on a means of transport.

113: TRANSPOSE: Pose for a camera when on a means of transport.

114: TRANSLATE: The Bus is Late

115: TRANSMUTE: A Deaf and Dumb Man on a means of trans[port.

116: TRANSPORT: Carry a Glass of  Port from one room to another.

117: TRANSFORM: Carry a Form from one room to another

118:TRANSFORMER: Change ‘er bad habits into good ones.

119: TRANSISTOR: Meet a friend’s  Sister on a means of transport.

120 ISOLATE: Said by Farmers that Sow in April when they should have sown in March. Or:  Said by someone who is Late for a Date.

121: PERSPEX:   Spectacles worn by a Fruit. Or:   An abbreviation for  “Pair of Spectacles

122: HOMEOPATH: A Pathway leading to your Home.

123: OPTICIAN: A Technician trained to carry out Operations..

124: LAZER: A person who is Lazy.

125: LAZER BEAM: A Beam that Lazy people sit on.

126: PARTICLES:  Pa   Tickles  you.

127: ELECTRICITY GRID:  An Electrically illuminated Manhole.

128: SHORT CIRCUIT: A very small Circular Race Track.  

129: PATENT:  A Tent  at the entrance to a Circus where you Pay for admission.

130: ICE CREAM:  What I do if a Mouse runs up the inside of my Trouser Leg.

131: RING WORM: Telephone an Insect.

132: MAN EATING TIGER:  What you might see when a successful Game Hunter has his Supper.

133:  MOTH WITH A LISP TEARING  AROUND A CANDLE:   “Sterling Moth” !!!.

134: TAILOR: Someone who can trim a Dog’s Tail effectively.

135: CANOPY: A Bucket of Urine.

136: BISHOP:  A Shop that sells Bicycles. OR:-  Two adjacent Shops that have been combined into one.  

137: BEETROOT:  Flog that part of a plant that goes into the soil.

138: FURLONG: An Animal with exceptionally long fur.

139: ORGANIC: Appertaining to Organists and Organs

140: BENIGN:  To be one year older that eight, , , , but one year younger than ten.

141: TOUCAN: Can do it faster than OneCan, , , but slower than ThreeCan.

142: MINUTE SECRETARY:  An exceedingly tiny Shorthand Typist

143: PRUDENT: A Prune with a Dentin it !!

144: MIDDLESEX: Having Sex in Mid -Morning or in the Middle of the night !! OR:- A Scottish Regiment, ,, because they can’t be men as they wear skirts , , ,   and they can’t be women because they have hairy legs !!!

145: ANGELIC: Appearance of an Angel after he had flown into a Jelly !!

146: TOPICAL” When the Top is Tickled

147: PROCEEDED: A Professional Gardener has planted seeds.

148: INTENSITIES: When one has been:-  in Ten   Cities.

149: SOFISTICATION:  Being  So handy with his Fists!!

150 :GERMOLENE:  A Germ that attacks Thin People

151: IMPAIRED:  When selecting Partners for a Game , , He has been Paired off

152: SEASONED WARRIOR: A soldier who survived Mustard Gas or a Pepper Spray.

153: COFFEE: The person upon whom one coughs

154: FLABBERGASTED: Aghast at the amount of flabbier one has put on.

155: NEGLIGENT: When a gentleman answer the door in his nightgown.

156: GARGOYLE:  An Olive-Oil  flavored gargle mouth-wash.

157: BALDERDASH:  A rapidly receding hairline.

158: OVERHEAD CRANE:  A large bird flying at a great height.

159: MASTIFF: Mother has Arthritis.

160: EXAMPLE: No longer plentiful., , , OR:-  Plenty of eggs.

161: EXPOSES: No longer poses for pictures for adverts

162:  EXCLAIM: No longer makes a claim.

163 : EXPRESS: No longer works for a Newspaper

164:  EXTENSION: No longer under tension.

165: EXACT: No longer an Actor or an Actress.

166: EXPUNGES: No longer Sponges down in the Shower.

167: EXTEND: No longer looks after Sheep.

168: EXAM: No longer eats Ham.

169: EXAMINE: No longer works down a Mine.

170: EXPLAIN: Now living on a Mountain.

171:  PALMISTRY: A Tropical Tree’s Life Story..

172: PSYCHIC: Give a big sigh just before you kick somebody.

173 : ORBITUARY:  A bit of a path that the Earth makes around the Sun

174:  DECIDER: Dee drink made wid dee Fermented Apples.

175:  And here now is a bunch of Medical terms , , , ,  , ,

Antibody…………………………….  -Against everyone.

Artery ……………………………….. -The study of Paintings

Bacteria……………………………..  -Back door of a cafeteria

.BloodVessel:……………………   A Bloody Ship.

Caesarean Section……………      – A district inRome.

Cardiology………………………..    -A study of PokerPlaying.

Castrate…………………………   .When fishing, don’t cast all cock-eyed.

CatScan……………………………   -Searching for fleas on a kitty..

Coma………………………………..   -Punctuation mark.

Cortisone………………………..      – The Area around a Court.

Cyst………………………………….   -Short for Sister.

Flatulence……………………        The Ambulance that picks you up after you are run over by a Steamroller

Diagnosis………………………..     -Person with Slanted Diagonal Nose.

Dilate……………………………….   – late for a meeting

Dislocation……………………..       -In  this place.

Duodenum………………………      – A Couple in blue jeans.

Enema……………………………..    – The very opposite of a friend.

Genes………………………………    -Blue denim,,,,(or:-Belongs to Jean)

Hernia……………………………..   -She is close by.

LabourPain…………………..    –    Hurt at work.

Lactose…….  …………………….   -People without toes.

Lymph……………………………..  -To walk with a lisp.

Microbe……..  …………………..   – A Small Dressing Gown.

Obesity……………………………  -City of Obe.

Prostate…………………………. A  Professional States something.

Proteins…………………………… -In favour of teens. .

Red Blood Count..  ………….   -Dracula.

Tablet……………………………….-A Small Table.

Testicle ………………………..   A  humorous question in an exam.

Varicose…………………………..-   Very close


176: SCABBARD: A Hard Scab over a sore..

177:  LOAFING: The act of eating a piece of Bread.

178: MARCHING: The Mother of a Chinaman called   “Ching”.

179: SYNDROME:  Committing a sin in an Italian City.

180: SYNDICATES:  A Minister or Priest indicates areas of sin in one’s life.

181 : MACULAR DEGENERATION:  A medical term for Masculine decline.

182: IMMACULATE CONCEPTION: A spotlessly pure Idea or Notion.

183: CELL PHONES: What prisoners in jail use to call one another.

184: PSYCHOPATHS: Paths that Mediums use,

185: NERVOUS WRECK: A Shipwreck with Neurotic Twitching.

186  ARSENIC: Poisoned by sitting on a Razor Blade!

187: SINGLET: A Child Soprano

188: HAMLET: A small Village specializing in rearing Piglets.

189: DIELECRTRIC: To be Electrocuted.

190: DIALOGUE: Kill a Tree Trunk.

191: PARKINSON’S DISEASE:  ‘Sunburn’ when you sit too long in the sun.

192:  MENOPAUSE: Men who pause for breath

193: MENTION: Men standing to attention.

194: IMPLIES: A Mischievous Spirit telling Fibs.

195: IMPART: Paintings and Drawings done by a Mischievous Spirit.

196: BABOON: A Baby that, perhaps one day,  is born on the Moon !!

197: BALLOON: A Ball designed to be played on the Moon (This would be ten times heavier than an earth ball to prevent it from floating off into outer space!!).

198: BELONG: The opposite of “Be Short”

199: ALARM: Alfred’s Arm

200: ALABASTER: Alfred is a Bastard!!

201: CUSTODIANS:  A Society whose Members have a Long Tradition for a liking of Custard.

202: HOOPOE: Sorry folks, please excuse the smell, , , it was me !!

203: ADAMANT:  A darn Ant !!

204: ADMINISTER: Add on another Parson.

205: CELIBATE: Hold a very big Party when you have decided to give up sex.

206: CATALYST: A Cat walking with a slant.

207: CALCULUS: An illogical  Conjuring Trick that performs what logical Mathematics  cannot do!!

208: MASSAGE:  A huge crowd of people who have grown old.

209: TESTIMONIALS: The little moans given when students open their exam papers and see the questions! OR:- The moaning sound made by Testicles in pain!!

210:  FLABBERGASTED: Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

211:  WILLY NILLY:  What an impotent male has.

212:  NEGLIGENT:  ;A man absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightdress.

213: LYMPH:  To walk with a lisp.

214: GARGOIL:  To Gargle with Olive Oil.

.215:: BALDERDSH:  A rapidly receding hairline. ;

216: CIRUMVENT: A n opening in the front of Boxer Shorts worn by Jewish men.

217: PARSIMONIOUS: A Minister moaning about something or other.

218: PERCENTAGE: A Pear starts to smell as it gets old.

219: PRODUCER: A Professional Two-Timer.

220: PRETENDER: Put in a Tender to Government Departments prior to competitors.

221: PROCEED: A Professional Seed Supplier.

222: TRANSDUCER: A Two-Timer using email or crossing the Atlantic.

223: MANDATE: A Man having a Date.

224:  FELAPTON:  This is NOT a joke and, as such, should not really be in this Document.   ‘Felapton’ is not in the Shorter Oxford Dictionary (but it IS included in the Complete Oxford Dictionary).  If you want to confuse anybody or impress them, here it is , , , ,

 A  “FELAPTON”  is a mnemonic word to represent a syllogistic argument in the third figure, in which there is one universal negative and one universal affirmative premise and a particular negative conclusion.

(That’s enough now Poppa !!!!)

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Saved as  “Website-MARGARINE Dangers.doc”


Hi Folks, , , I would like to reveal, AS A MATTER OF URGENCY,  the EXTREME dangers of Margarine, and, indeed, ANY foods that have been ‘Hydrogenated’.

 The following information was take off the Internet by me from GOOGLE SEARCH: “Dangers of Margarine” , , , , (some of the information in the links were found to be duplicated).  I have edited them all into my own particular style of writing.


So, , , , what is all this guff about ‘Hydrogenation’ ? , , , , Let me explain, , , In order to make any oils , such as Margarine Oil suitable for use at room temperatures so that it becomes a solid, and not a liquid oil,  HYDROGEN is pumped into the oil at a very high temperature. This has the effect of raising its melting point so that it remains a solid at normal room temperatures, but goes back into liquid oil when the temperature goes up. The process is called is called “HYDROGENATION”.

(I wonder if they could do this process with petrol or paraffin to make a ‘jellied’ block to be used in Stoves. Lamps and Fire Lighters etc.: ???!!).

This, however, forms TRANS-FATTY-ACIDS, known as “TRANSFAT”, and nothing clogs your Arteries better than these!!!  In addition to this, is has TOXIC EFFECTS on your system.

Toxins hide away permanently in your system and can attack you years and years into the future when your resistance is low and you least expect it.  So go right ahead, use it and die !!!!!!. (From “Personal and Finance” magazine several years ago).  



Here is a bit more science, , ,  When two atoms of GASEOUS (i.e. Higher Vibration) Hydrogen are chemically combined with one atom of GASEOUS (i.e. Higher Vibration) Oxygen, the outcome is a condensed molecule of LIQUID (i.e. Lower Vibration) WATER. (Chemical Formula H2 0).      (Yes! We knew that!).

So, by the same token, when two atoms of Hydrogen are chemically combined with OILY (i.e. Higher Vibration) MARGARINE, the outcome is a condensed molecule of  SOLID (i.e. Lower Vibration) MARGARINE. , , , , , , (Gosh! We never thought of that !!)  

 If the room temperature should shoot up, (i.e. To a Higher Vibration), as in hot weather, the Lower Vibration state of the SOLID  “Marge” is then turned back into Higher Vibration OIL, just as Lower Vibration ICE is turned back into Higher Vibration WATER when temperatures shoot up above Zero Degrees Centigrade (i.e. “Freezing point”).”


Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys.  When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted to recover this, so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this useless product in order to do this.  So they decided to sell it to human beings instead with a few modifications.   (WOW  OH WOW !!!)

It was still a white unappetizing substance with no food appeal so they added yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter.  How do you like that !





From the Internet ‘’ ‘Dangers of Hydrogenated Oils revealed in new downloaded report (Press Release), , , , , , , , ,              

Just how bad is this ingredient for your health? Consider this list of detrimental health effects caused by hydrogenated oils, published in this report:

  • Directly promotes heart disease
  • Promotes cancers: breast cancer, prostate cancer, colon cancer
  • Results in low birth weight in infants
  • Raises LDL (bad) cholesterol and lower HDL (good) cholesterol
  • Raises blood sugar levels and promotes weight gain
  • Interferes with the absorption of essential fatty acids and DHA
  • Impairs brain function and damages brain cells
  • Accelerates tumor growth
  • Accelerates the progress of type-2 diabetes
  • Raises serum cholesterol
  • Impairs immune system functions
  • Promotes  Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
  • Impairs development of the brains of fetuses
  • Causes gall bladder diseases
  • Causes liver diseases
  • Caused 30,000 deaths per year in the United States alone
  • Clogs blood, makes blood cells stick together
  • Blocks the body’s creation of natural pain-reducing hormones (Eicosanoids)
  • Causes the creation of free radicals that promote inflammation
  • Creates nutritional deficiencies of healthy oils and Essential Fatty Acids (EFAs)
  • Promotes cystic fibrosis
  • Lowers essential fatty acids in the breast milk of nursing mothers
  • Clogs artery walls and promotes atherosclerosis
  • Cause gum disease and rotting teeth
  • Lowers tissue oxygen intake
  • Causes infertility
  • Directly damages blood vessels
  • Causes high blood pressure
  • Weakens cell walls and compromises cellular structure
  • Causes dandruff and acne

(Would you like some more ??!!)


Butter on the other hand is derived in its solid form straight away by churning milk.

I had personal experience of this whilst living on a Farm without electricity in the Welsh mountains for over 6 years during World War 2.   We had to make butter by turning a large barrel of milk, hinged in the middle with a protruding handle. (you could hear the milk sloshing around inside) . I spent many back- breaking hours turning that ruddy handle !!!


Put some Butter in a covered Butter Dish, on the table, or wherever, ready for use. This will keep it nice and soft, making it easy to spread.  But have a back-up packet in the Refrigerator, ready for topping up your Butter Dish.  Finally, keep a good stock in the Deep Freeze.



Margarine is but ONLY ONE MOLECULE away from being a PLASTIC… and shares 27 ingredients with PAINT

These facts alone should have you avoiding margarine for the rest of your life !!!

Also keep miles away from ANY form of Hydrogenated food, as explained above. Claims on packets and in adverts that they are healthy are blatant dangerous lies!!!


If you leave a tub of margarine open in your garage or a shaded area, , , ,within a week or so, you will notice that no flies, not even those pesky little fruit flies will go anywhere near it (that should tell you something !!). 
  It does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value, so nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weenie green and white fluffy microorganisms that attack ANY food, will not a find a home on which to grow.    Why?   Because it is nearly all plastic !!!.    (Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast?).


Have I convinced you ??  If not, go right ahead then, and eat your paint , , and die !!!

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                                     END OF ARTICLE






Saved as  “Website-MacintoshComputers.doc”


Hi Folks, , ,

What is the difference between , , ,(no, this isn’t a Riddle), , ,  (but on the other hand, perhaps it is!!), , , a Macintosh  / Apple Computer and a Microsoft Windows ditto?


For years and years, I worked solely with Microsoft Windows Computers. I wouldn’t even consider looking at a Macintosh, a lot of rubbish, so I was told,  ,,  ,, which just goes to show how successful  anti-Mac propaganda really is.

I started off as a real ‘Computer Wiz Kid’ with a ‘Commodore 64’ (that had a whopping big 64 KILO BYTE  Hard Drive !!)., , , ,I could write my own ‘Basic;’ Programs and teach others how to use a Computer.  How things have…

View original post 762 more words





Saved as  “Website-MacintoshComputers.doc”


Hi Folks, , ,

What is the difference between , , ,(no, this isn’t a Riddle), , ,  (but on the other hand, perhaps it is!!), , , a Macintosh  / Apple Computer and a Microsoft Windows ditto?


For years and years, I worked solely with Microsoft Windows Computers. I wouldn’t even consider looking at a Macintosh, a lot of rubbish, so I was told,  ,,  ,, which just goes to show how successful  anti-Mac propaganda really is.

I started off as a real ‘Computer Wiz Kid’ with a ‘Commodore 64’ (that had a whopping big 64 KILO BYTE  Hard Drive !!)., , , ,I could write my own ‘Basic;’ Programs and teach others how to use a Computer.  How things have changed, how the mighty are fallen !!    I now have to go to my Grandchildren to solve all my computer problems!!!


Anyway, getting back to the thorny question of an Apple thrown through an open  Window, , , , After battling with a  particular very annoying Windows program on which I had spent hours and hours trying to solve, and then it locked up my computer for a whole day whilst  it was downloading something I did not require !!!, , , , Justin, my Grandson-in- law (i.e. my daughter Angela’s  daughter Christy’s  husband) , asked me how I would I like a computer that, , , , , ,

(a) Loads up programs IMMEDIATELY you press a couple of Keys

(b) Goes onto the Internet or onto your email work-page IMMEDIATELY you press a couple of keys.

(c) OUTSIDE VIRUS ATTACK IS ELIMINATED JUST ABOUT ALTOGETHER, conversely, you cannot infect anyone else with a Virus , , thus saving you a fortune in money and hours of time, to say nothing of annoying other people with virus-infected programs!!.

(d) It is FULLY SELF-SUPPORTING, as it has dozens of exciting goodies. either built-in or as Mackintosh ‘Add-ons’.   So you don’t have to download lots of other rubbishy (possibly virus infected) programs off the Internet. (If you are stupid enough to do this, however, you can’t blame Mac’ if you introduce a virus or ‘gum up the works’!! ).

(f) Plays music at the touch of a single Key.

(g) You don’t need a separate ‘Explorer’ type of ’program as in Window’s to move files and programs around, you JUST DO IT then and there, straight away, simply with Drag and Drop.

(h) It has the option of announcing the time on the hour

(i) A built-in camera will take your picture and save it at the touch of a couple of keys.

(j)  A built-in Camera Capture Program for instantly  down-loading editing, saving and printing your camera pics’.

(k)  It has an amazing ADDRESS BOOK that has a whole page for each entry, onto which you can record name & postal address, telephone number, cell phone number, email address and comments.  It will also print out a visiting card from these details, and when you want to send an email, you only have to type in the first 3 letters of a name in the ‘Send’ Strip, and Mac’ will then sniff out the email address from the Address Book !!

(l) You are not going to believe this, , ,Highlight text TO HAVE IT READ BACK TO YOU , ,  , You can adjust speed, pitch and even select readers !!!

From the above, you can see that you have everything you can possibly need, (and I have only just scratched the surface!!) so you don’t, therefore, have to down-load a lot of unnecessary outside (possibly dangerous!) junk !!



I said ”I don’t believe there is such an animal. I would give my back teeth for a Computer that did even half of all that”.  So Justin said “Well you had better make an appointment with your Dentist, because an Apple Computer will do all this and tons more!!!”


So to cut a very long story short, in for a penny in for a pound, ,  , ,I  invested in a 21 inch Desk Top iMac Computer, and I have never regretted it, even though, at R11,000,  it is about three times the price of a Windows computer. This is one of the adverse criticisms of buying a Mac’. Other criticisms are totally unfounded but someone, somewhere, has done a mighty good job of letting poor old Mac’s tires down !!!!


I should have changed to Apple years ago.  If I had done this, I would have saved myself an absolute fortune in Anti-Vitus programs to say nothing of the hours spent running them. I also think of the hours wasted, waiting for programs and the Internet to load up., , , , Windows has a lot to  learn from Apple !!!

So my conclusion, , , buy yourself an Apple- Mackintosh Computer, and you, also, will never regret it.

Other Computer users will also thank you for not sending them viruses !!

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